8 Ways To Increase Eye Contact

Making eye contact when we communicate is something most of us take for granted. But for some children with autism, making eye contact in social situations is difficult. You can help your child practice and increase eye contact with these 8 strategies:

1. During Meals

   Feeding is great way to practice eye contact, once your baby’s eye muscles and depth perception have developed. With babies at least 5- 8 months old, when you have a spoonful of food ready, get baby’s attention, and raise the spoon to the line of vision between your eyes and baby’s. Reward the meeting of the eyes with smiles and coos while you direct the spoon into the mouth. With toddlers and preschoolers, wait for your eyes to meet before sharing food or handing them their cup.

2. During Play

   You can use play to help your child increase eye contact, and there are countless ways to do so. With young children, use peek-a-boo to practice getting and giving eye contact. Use a smile, tickle, laugh, hug, squeeze, make funny faces, make funny sounds, or whatever your child likes, to reinforce when your eyes meet.

   Make eye contact when you stand in front of a swing and push the swing, when catching him at the bottom of the slide, and when you catch him as he jumps in a pool. When blowing bubbles, pause until your eyes meet. Have a staring contest with older children. Play facial imitation games where you make a face, then your child imitates it and vice versa.

3. During Conversations

   When you want to get your child’s attention, say his name, and wait until he looks at you. If he does not look at you because he is holding a toy in his hands, move closer to him and gently place your hands on top of his to break his concentration. Then call his name again and wait for him to look up at you.

   If your child is verbal, you can encourage eye contact during all conversations. Teach eye contact at the same time as teaching please and thank you. Teach your child to look the person in the eye when he says hello, goodbye, please, thank you, I love you, when he asks for something, when he answers a question, and when he has something to say. Encourage and reinforce eye contact when you sing songs, recite nursery rhymes, and read books.

4. When Your Child Is Requesting Something

   When you child asks you for a toy or food, wait for eye contact before handing off the toy or food item that your child wants. You can hold the item in front of your eyes and when he looks at the object and you, give him the toy.

5. Modeling Eye Contact

   Remember to make eye contact when you speak to your child. It’s easy to forget this when we are looking at our phone or laptop.

6. How to Prompt Eye Contact

   When your child fails to make eye contact at an appropriate time, you can prompt him by lightly touching his chin, gesturing towards your eyes, holding a favorite item in front of your eyes, or with phrases such as “Tell my eyes,” “I can’t see your beautiful eyes,” “Look at me,”or “Over here.”

   With older children, if they are telling me something but looking away, I will let them know that I can’t hear them, because they are “sending their voice to wall/floor/etc.” This often serves as a gentle reminder for them to look in your direction when speaking.

7. How to Reinforce Eye Contact

   Positively reinforce their eyes meeting yours with smiles, nods, or phrases such as “I love how you look at me when I talk to you,” “Thank you for looking,” “Great looking at me!” or “What pretty brown eyes you have!” Reinforcement also occurs when you give them what they want without delay when they make eye contact with a request.

With positivity, encouragement, patience, and smiles, you can teach and practice making eye contact with your child during every day situations. Being able to make eye contact without hesitation may be difficult, but it can improve with practice. Eye contact can help your child avoid awkwardness and isolation in social situations, make friends at school, and succeed in various encounters throughout life.  

Sources:

https://www.aoa.org/patients-and-public/good-vision-throughout-life/childrens-vision/infant-vision-birth-to-24-months-of-age

https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2011/03/28/12-activities-to-help-your-child-with-social-skills/

J. Carbone, Vincent & Obrien, Leigh & J. Sweeney-Kerwin, Emily & Albert, Kristin. (2013). Teaching Eye Contact to Children with Autism: A Conceptual Analysis and Single Case Study. Education and Treatment of Children. 36. 139-159. 10.1353/etc.2013.0013.