The Behavior Place

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How to Teach Your Child to Be a Good Sport after Losing a Game

Let’s face it, most people don’t enjoy losing, but losing is a part of life! For some of us, playing is the fun part - it doesn’t matter whether we win or lose. But for some kids, happiness seems to hinge on whether or not they win. Losing can quickly turn into a tantrum and can lower the chances of wanting to play a game with a peer in the future. Do you have a child that can’t seem to handle losing a game? Don’t fret! We’ve got you covered with tips to help your child tolerate losing.

Modeling

Your child may need to be taught by playing with an adult first, and then move on to playing with peers. Learning how to lose with an adult allows the adult to model to the learner how they should react when they lose and when they win! Start by having the child win a few times so that the adult can model what a gracious loser looks like. The losing player should still be having fun, can congratulate the winner, and can identify their favorite part of the game! For example the losing player could say “Wow, you played great. This game is so fun, my favorite part was when I landed on red twice because red is my favorite color!” Identifying a favorite part of the game helps teach the learner to look for fun or silly things while playing that are not contingent on winning.

Social Stories

Social stories are a great way for some learners to be taught directly how to lose well. Social stories illustrate to the child what it looks like for someone to lose. These days, social stories are widely accessible to teachers and families by using the good ole’ world wide web. A quick search and you can probably find a social story that’s right for your child!

Reinforcement

Provide reinforcement to your child when they show appropriate behavior when losing! Did your child lose the game and actually congratulate their sibling who won!? AWESOME! Give them some behavior-specific praise and maybe throw in a favorite snack, extra few minutes of tablet time, or another rewarding activity. This will increase their chances of losing graciously in the future!